第四章

八月中旬，段艺泽世界巡演海外场全部结束，他给自己放了一个月的假放松心情调整状态期间除了必要的商务活动，几乎没有再出现在大众的视野内。段艺泽是娱乐圈出了名的劳模，他原本打算海外场和国内场无缝衔接，最后实在拗不过他的经纪人蒋韫恺Kevin，只好答应半休假一个月。现在想来，这个决定是对的。

他好像真的被下蛊一般，对那个叫做尹书荷Sheila的女孩有些念念不忘。LA之后的每一场演唱会，他都在希冀她会突然出现。但始终没有，她再也没有出现在任何一场演唱会的SVIP。

尹书荷好像真的从段艺泽的世界消失，没有留下一丝痕迹。

段艺泽几乎已经默认尹书荷不会再出现在他的世界。

接受外媒访谈的时候，段艺泽被问到自己的个人生活。这不是他第一次被问到这些问题，大众在关注他音乐作品的同时，总是忍不住好奇他在荧幕背后的生活。

以往他总是轻描淡写地一笔带过，而这一次，他的脑海里闪现过一张脸，随后他又轻笑着摇了摇头：“I feel very lonely, honestly. I might be surrounded by a lot of people, you know, families, friends, company people, whatever. There’s love there, and I enjoy being with them. But deep down, I know that, mentally I feel lonely and I have no shoulder to lean on in my soul.（老实说，我会感觉孤独。我身边经常有许多人，我的家人，朋友，工作伙伴。我爱他们，也喜欢和他们待在一起。但在我内心深处，我感到非常孤独，我没有精神寄托和灵魂依靠。）”

“You don’t know who to talk to when you pick up your phone. Right?（你常常不知道向谁倾诉吗？）”

“Most of the time, when I pick up my phone, I don’t know who to call. My parents, they basically take part in the company; my friends, they mostly work with me in music or in business.（大多数时候，我拿起手机不知道打电话给谁。你知道的，我的父母和朋友，他们大多是我的工作伙伴。）”

“You know, I’m always outputting, like in my world tour, but deep down, I don’t feel I’m receiving. I heard from people in this industry saying the same thing that they get just get lonely, although they all look primped.（我工作的时候大部分时间都在不断向外输出，比如我最近的世巡，但我心里空缺的部分却没有人来帮我填满。我也听到很多艺人说过，他们往往表面上光鲜亮丽，内心深处却时常感到空虚和孤独。）”

“I’ve being going through a time, about two years ago, that I wanted to get drunk all day because I don’t want to face the life I was going through. That was the first time that I want to avoid something in my life, you know. I’m not a person that I would want to avoid stuff.（大概两年前，我尝试通过酗酒来逃避现实，因为我实在不想面对当时我所经历的一切。那几乎是我人生中第一次选择逃避，因为通常再艰难的境地我都会选择面对，。）”

“Did you know, at that point, that his was not the right way to go?（你知道那个时候你的状态很不对劲吗？）”

“Yeah, definitely. But at that moment, I just didn’t want to face it cause I don’t know w